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True stories from the ER…


**Message from Brandon***

Hi! I’m glad you found Go Team Duncan. The post you are on now somehow became one of the most landed on through searches on the internet. I don’t know how it happened, but here you are! I do want you to enjoy this post, (it sure wasn’t fun while it was happening, but writing it gave me a laugh,) but I would love for you to check out some of my more current work.

When you are done here, click on the “home” link up top and check out more stories and reviews!

Thank again for stopping in!

This weekend, I had the pleasure of going to the emergency room. Not once, but twice. (No need for concern, Team Duncan is doing just fine.)

We use a military hospital, so things work a little different than on the civilian side. I usually keep a level head during these little visits. I understand that they can be understaffed. I also understand that all the fancy little toys are already paid for, so there can be a rather large deficit in the urgency account. I don’t think anything was any different about this trip than any other, but the lack of patient throughput had me seriously agitated.

During the second visit, I was pacing the tiny triage cubicle, trying to work the four hours of waiting-room-chair numbness out of my ass, when I saw it. A laminated sheet containing various pain level gauges. I’ve seen similar in every doctors office I’ve been in. They look a little like this:

Riley Pain Tool

Riley Infant Pain Scale Assessment Tool (supposed to be used on infants)

Numeric and Face Pain Rating

Numeric Pain Rating Scale (for adolescents and adults) and Faces Pain rating Scale (for use with children 3yrs and under)

As I looked at it, though, I realized—this isn’t for the patient! This is for the people waiting with them! All this stuff described what I was going through to a “T”!

Word Pain Scale Modified

Fit like a glove!

I think maybe the little faces should be modified a little, though. Here’s what I suggest:

Edited Pain Faces

Closer to the truth...

Sounds good to me anyway. (Coming up with this post actually lightened my mood a little during the last couple of hours of being there.)

What do you think? Am I close here?


About Brandon

Hey you! Thanks for visiting Go Team Duncan! Let me introduce myself---I'm a dad of 15 years and Brandi's worse half for more than 10. I'm also a US Army Soldier of almost 10 years, a writer, social media addict, blogger (as you can see), and now a podcaster.
As busy as I appear, however, I always have time for you! Comment below, connect with me through any of my social media channels or email me at brandon@brandonpduncan.me and let's talk!

Come on and join the discussion!

  1. Almost peed myself laughing! And yes, I can relate! Great post Brandon :)

    • My wife asked me what I was doing when I started copying down the little chart in the ER. I told her it was for a post and she rolled her eyes and got this weird look on her face. I’m pretty sure she thought I was taking it a whole other direction, lol!

  2. OMG! This is so funny!!! You must totally print these up and sell to all medical institutions!! Hahahaaha!

  3. Lol. If there were signs like this in my ER I might look forward to going!

    • Oh, I NEVER look forward to going, but I agree, it would take the sting out a little. Too bad we don’t all have a Gesundheit Institute in our neighborhood, isn’t it?

  4. okay, now that I’ve read it while not still remembering the pain that caused this post in the first place… it is pretty funny ;) oh and just so you know: those waiting to be seen by the docs could totally use this too, not just those waiting with us ;)

    • True. They get you with the secondary waiting room area, which adds a whole new level of pissed off to the equation. I mean, they are standing RIGHT THERE! ;)

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